I just picked up one of the area weekly "shopper rags" (you know them - the ones who don't have the balls to write an editorial because it might cost them a buck or two in advertising revenues...) and on the front page there is an article about Burton Village Council trying (again) to "cut expenses" and trim up for this month's yearly budget that must be finalized in January.  Oh boy...

     So they have arrived at two BIG REVELATIONS on which they need to trim "back on"  (no pun intended):  FLOWER BASKETS and PERSONNEL.  Duh...  You don't have to be an Einstein to identify several  HUGE MONEY PITS that need to go and MUST get the budget ax for 2010...  Let's take each one and examine how much money could be saved.

1.  Hanging Flower Baskets:  Without a doubt, a HUGE waste of time and money for benefits received.  EVERY DAY in the summer you can see without fail TWO paid Burton village employees in a ONE-TON truck cruising up to EACH FLOWER BASKET and stopping underneath one.  One employee stays in the truck and bucks up the tunes and smokes a butt, the other one sits there and takes a long hose and SOAKS down the flower basket.  While this act of great importance is being performed, the ONE-TON TRUCK SITS THERE AND IDLES AWAY WITH ALL EIGHT CYLINDERS CLANKING.  And I'm here to tell you:  I HAVE SEEN THEM WATERING THESE 'PUBLIC' FLOWERS WHILE IT IS FUCKING RAINING!    Please reread that last sentence!  I call them the "idiot squad".   Robots.  A total and absoute waste of public funds.  Hideous misuse of money and equipment, not to mention a HUGE ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN because this crazy misuse of personnel and equipment OCCURS IN THE MAIN LANE OF THE SQUARE TRAFFIC.  All it is going to take is some hillbilly to be on the cell phone jabbering or jigged up on moonshine and run into the back of one of these idle trucks and someone is going to get killed.  ALL IN THE NAME OF SOME GODDAMN FLOWERS THAT ARE 12 FEET IN THE GODDAMN AIR - FLOWERS NO ONE CAN SEE ANYWAY!   WASTE!  WASTE!  WASTE!    WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THIS BULLSHIT, ANYWAY?!

     Now look at Burton and the surrounding area.  By god there must be SCORES of flower joints and landscaping outfits who handle plants.  If you doubt this, open up the Yellow Pages and have a look or just sit your ass in front of my store and you'll see DOZENS of area landscaping trucks ripping by.  Judging by their speed, they just have to be jetting off to FLOWER JOBS somewhere.  My point:  Why wouldn't an enterprising mayor or council approach one or more of these flower happy joints surrounding our fine berg AND GET THESE BASTARDS TO DONATE THE FLOWERS AND THE UPKEEP ON THEM!  For their help, they can attach a little sign above or below the flower baskets for free advertising.  THOUSANDS of people come through Burton every day and they would see the public good they are doing. 

     The other question is this:  If the council is hurting so bad for money, WHY would they even consider flowers in the first place?  Frills like that are the FIRST CUTS without question.  ANY project that is funded by taxpayers and could be returned to the private sector is suspect.  Which leads me to my next item...

2.  Trash/Brush Days:  I could never figure out WHY the village council would pay THOUSANDS of dollars for hauling away residents' trash on two "special days" a year...  What is that about?  Answer:  It's probably a damn SWEETHEART deal that has been doing on for decades - someone is getting greased here...    If I were on council I would adopt this philosophy:  If a village resident wants to have trash or brush or yard clippings hauled away, damn well let them PAY FOR DOING SO.  Right?  Why would the village have a vested interest in this?  Look, a resident is NOT going to fling their old lawnmower out into the street or let the junk pile up in the front yard - there are ordnances and laws against this.  So what did they do before the village stepped in and PAID for this luxury?  Answer:  When Ben Dover had a bunch of old lawn mowers and old fencing, Ben Dover put them into his pick-up truck and went out to a dump and PAID for the load to be put into a landfill. 

3.  Poor Workers:  In these days of the Obama "recession", industry has found that it's a prime time to get rid of "deadwood"/non-productive workers.  The same should be true for the village.  Do NOT hire the extra college workers in the summer (these are people in the watering trucks) and carefully evaluate EVERY EMPLOYEE.  Cut loose those who have screwed-up or have a poor attitude.  Bye!  Bye!  Oh boo-hoo!  For example, if one of the village workers has the TIME to use village trucks and gasoline to go visit a lover, then they aren't needed on the work force, are they?  Any commercial outfit would have fired this individual for mis-use of the company's vehicle, gasoline and time.  Period.  End of story.  Again, this is a cost saver.  The village does NOT exist to employ jokers, the village exists to SERVE THE RESIDENTS WHO PAY THE TAXES.  Period.  End of story.  When cutting budget, this is the perfect time to cut deadwoods or jack-offs.   

     Village council must never under estimate the possibility that area business people and companies can help the village and provide everything from funds to labor for jobs that are costing them LOTS OF MONEY on a yearly basis.  Privatize this stuff!  If the budget needs reduced, THEN CUT NON-ESSENTIAL SERVICES IMMEDIATELY.  Cut unnecessary personnel immediately!  I can sure do without flower pots, trash pick-up or surly employees and so can everyone in this village!